Should You See Your Partner Before You Walk Down the Aisle? Spoiler Alert: It Depends

Mar 16

A groom in a blue fitted suit reacts with surprise to his soon to be bride in Grand Rapids.

So, you're gearing up for the big day, and one of the decisions on your plate is whether or not to do a first look. It's a question that can spark some debates, but at the end of the day, it's all about what feels right for you and your partner. As someone who's been there, done that, and captured a lot of first look tears along the way, let me share some insights on the age-old dilemma: Should you do a first look?

Embracing the Magic: Picture this: You're standing there, heart racing, butterflies in your stomach, and then you see them – your person, your lobster (hoping you got the Friends reference, fingers crossed), your future. That moment of locking eyes for the first time on your wedding day is pure magic, and a first look captures it all. It's just you, them, and a whole lot of love (without 150 of your closest friends, family and coworkers staring at you).

A groom wearing eyeglasses has an emotional reaction to his partner coming down the aisle at their Ann Arbor garden wedding ceremony. — This couple even did a first look- proof that it doesn’t take away the magic of the ceremony.

A Stress-Free Schedule: Now, let's talk logistics. Doing a first look can be a game-changer for your wedding day schedule. By getting those precious photos out of the way before the ceremony, you'll have more time to savor every moment with your loved ones and maybe even sneak in a cocktail or two. Trust me, a little extra time to mingle goes a long way! This is extra nice since most couples do not get a chance to go table-to-table during the reception.

Busting the Myths: There's a myth floating around that doing a first look somehow diminishes the magic of walking down the aisle. But let me set the record straight – your ceremony will be just as emotional, just as heartfelt, whether you've seen each other beforehand or not. It's all about what feels right..

A couple walks down the stairs to her fiance before her Masonic Temple Wedding.

My own experience: I'll never forget the moment I had my own first look before my elopement. I’m not going to lie- I ugly cried. Hard. There's a video of it too. Do I regret it? No. It’s how the day went, and how I actually felt.

Moments of Authenticity: As a photographer, I've witnessed 100s of first looks over the 18 years I’ve been photographing weddings. The anticipation, the nerves, the overwhelming rush of emotions – it's all there, captured in the most authentic and heartfelt way. And the best part? There's no right or wrong way to react – you do you! Not everyone cries or reacts strongly (even during the ceremony), and that’s okay.

Finding Your Focus: If you're on the fence about doing a first look, take a moment to think about what truly matters to you. Do you want to spend every precious second with your partner, and your friends and family, or are you drawn to the tradition of that first glimpse down the aisle?

Making Memories, Breaking Traditions: Times are changing, and so are wedding traditions. More and more couples are embracing the idea of a first look as a way to make their day truly their own. Whether you stick to tradition or break free from the mold, the choice is yours to make.

So, what's the verdict? Listen to your heart, trust your instincts, and know that whatever you decide, it'll be perfect.

P.S. If you’re not convinced to do a first look, no problem at all. Check out this post to figure out how to make the best schedule for this scenario. We’ll make sure we have plenty of time for everything, and you’ll hopefully have a few minutes to sneak off for a few minutes of cocktail hour. There are also other ways to connect with your partner that does not involve seeing each other.

Cheers!